Many times since my son was diagnosed with Autism we have been questioned if we really think he is autistic. Logan is a very enduring little boy who is high functioning autistic. Even some family members have questioned whether or not he is "really" autistic. We get comments like:
" don't you think Autism is the diagnosis of the 2000's like ADHD was in the 80's and 90's?"
" he doesn't look autistic to me"
" all little kids do things like that"
In the beginning (I say that like I have been doing this forever) these comments would feel like nails on a chalk board to me. I wanted to scream at them, I wanted to cry. Sometimes I wanted to say bad words to them. Let's face it, I still do sometimes. But I am getting used to it. Now I like to say things like "Why don't you come and stay with us for a couple of days then we can have this discussion again." or "Wow I will pass that on to team of experts that work with my son everyday that have Masters degrees in behavioral science. I am sure they will be very interested to hear that you did an Internet search for 10 frigging Min's".
I don't have time for this crap in my life today. Want to know what I deal with. Here is what happen yesterday:
In the rush to get everyone into the car after picking up Gwen from school I forgot to put Logan's seat belt on in the car seat. Now before you all do the intake of breath followed by the OMG's I live 2 small blocks from the school. Logan didn't notice his seat belt wasn't fastened till we were around the corner from our house. But he freaked out.
"Mommy I need to have my seat belt" he screamed. "Logan we are almost home honey it is ok" I said back. " NO MOMMY I NEED MY SEAT BELT" Logan insisted.
Now at this point I had already said no and the number one thing about parenting is that no means no right. With autistic kids, no has to mean, No way even if you scream at me for the next 3 hours.
Which is exactly what he did. He screamed in the drive way. He sat by the front door and screamed. He ran around the house screaming. "I need my seat belt on mommy". My six year old said, " Mom just take him back out to the car and put his seat belt on".
I know Gwen. It would have been the easy way out. But see, I took classes. I listen to the experts about my son. If I give in now he will be doing this to me when he is 12. Because my son IS autistic. He has rigidity. He has set lines that he doesn't know how to cross. He doesn't know that it is ok to ride in the car with out your seat belt for a block. He can't have that little bit of enjoyment that most kids get in breaking a small rule. He doesn't know that sometimes things are different and it is ok.
He doesn't now, but he will. That is what keeps me going. His future depends on what we do now with him. So even as easy as it would have been to just take him back out to the car and buckle that seat belt, I would be paying for it for years to come.
So to all the nay sayers and questioners I say thank goodness God gave ME this son. Who knows how bad you would have screwed him up.
