Mommy's Do What Mommy's Have To Do

When I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child I can honestly say I was shocked and a bit disturbed by it. As the busy mother of three kids it seemed impossible that I could have another one.

Not to mention that my 3 year old son is autistic and 2 year old daughter has really bad asthma and has been hospitalized several times in the last year.

I felt like an immature teenager that had "gotten knocked up". I felt embarrassed at times to tell people. Because I know what I would think about my situation. How could they not.

Then I made peace with it. I decided that this baby deserved to be loved and protected just as much as my other children. So when I had a gush of bleeding at the hospital last week, I was absolutely devastated. I was so sure I had lost my baby. My heart was shattered. When my husband came into the ER room, I just sobbed on him and kept saying how sorry I was. I felt like I had done something to our child.

When we went in for the ultrasound, I couldn't look at the screen. My husband pointed and said "Look, Jen". I could see the tears in his eyes. I turned and looked, and there was our baby. Heart beating and waving his/her little hands and kicking up a storm.

I was over joyed.

We found out what had caused the bleeding was a Subchorionic Hemorrhage that is about 50% of my placenta. Not good. Hence why I am on bed-rest.

So while bed rest sucks, I have made a vow to this little baby, to do everything I can to keep him/her in the oven till they are done cooking.

I am 14 weeks pregnant this week. I can't imagine being on bed-rest for the duration of my pregnancy, but mommy's do what mommy's have to do.